Friday, April 10, 2009

Dear Purveyor of Rotten Teeth ...

My child incessantly speaks about you and you are quickly becoming numero uno on my list of despised commercial holiday characters. I stood in the middle of a crowded mall with a fever of 103 only to have my child not want to sit by you because you wouldn't speak to her. You know, the Easter Bunny does speak on all of those silly television shows. Would it have killed you to at the very least said "hello little girl" as I was forking over $40 for out of focus, cheesy pictures? Seriously? All you did was hold your hands together and make this hippity-hoppity motion that made it look like you were suffering from withdrawal.

So, since you freaked her out the other day she has devised a plan to scare you. She is insisting on staying up ALL night on Saturday so she can sneak down the stairs when you come into the house to deliver her Easter basket. That means no sleep for Mommy! Not cool.

Little do you know, she is really not going to be happy with you come Sunday. Oh no she won't. Her "kids" at daycare have been telling her how much candy the Easter Bunny brings and you will only be bringing her books, sidewalk chalk and her precious Little People. A few pieces of candy may find their way into her basket, but not the plethora of chocolate that she is expecting thanks to the little gremlins at daycare.

Consider this a warning, you cotton-tailed pain in my butt ... you may not be that big in her eyes next year.


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