Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Back to School

I have never been more happy to see my children march off back to school! This Summer has been great in so many ways, but in others, it has been so not for me.

I always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom ... always. Until I had Sage and realized that the day to day routine of staying home solely to care for your child was actually a LOT harder than going to work. I missed Sage from the moment I dropped her off at daycare until the moment I picked her up. I was torn because I missed so many milestones by being away from her for 10 hours per day. However, those 10 hours per day were what it took to reclaim my sanity after those evenings that were strained.

The days that I managed to eek out over the last three years with Sage, where it was just her and I at home during the day were some of the best. It made me resent going to work more and more. When I was laid off and almost immediately decided that I would not go back to work right away, it was those days that I had visions of. I wasn't thinking too clearly, obviously!

Sage and I together are great. Sage and I with her sister all Summer, not so great. I don't know what it is about her sister, but she's like crack to Sage. She gets her all wound up ... they trash my house and they bicker at each other constantly. It was a never ending battle from the time they woke up until the time they went to bed. And in all fairness, she's not just like that with her sister. She's like that when anyone else comes into the house. She's almost passive and calm when she is alone with me, but add anyone else to the mix and it's like a nuclear reaction.

I now understand all of the mothers who so cheerfully exclaim that their children have gone back to school. I never really got it until this Summer.


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