Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Not a Good Day

... and for no particular reason. I'm pissy with the world. It's actually quite gorgeous out. It's in the 80's and no typical oppressive Mid-Atlantic humidity in the air. Even saying Mid-Atlantic irritates me today. The ENTIRE Mid-Atlantic region is made up of MARYLAND!!! Hello? I guess it's the polite way of saying we are the combination black sheep/red-headed step-child of the East coast! Those to the north say we are in the south, those to the south say we are in the north. Well, I've got news for everyone, we are BELOW the Mason Dixon Line, hence in the SOUTH.

See ... pissy mood. And that just touches on the big, goliath iceburg of a 'tude that I have today. I think it's because I went to bed in a bad mood last night, and it just festered. I took Sage down to see Mom and Dad yesterday evening because Mom was leaving for Oklahoma City this morning and wanted to see Sage. Of course she did ... who wouldn't want to see my cuddly, lovable, deliriously happy baby that turned into a she-devil yesterday on me! When I picked her up at the baby-sitter and went to put her in the carseat she did the stiff-as-a-board, back arched, head thrown back tantrum that she usually saves for mommy when she's tired and she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that when I stick that bottle in her mouth she is going to fall asleep when she does NOT want to. I couldn't get her in the carseat. So, there is Phyllis peaking around the corner, looking at me and wondering if I pinched her little pumpkin or something. She says "Sage?" with this look of disbelief in her eyes. HA. Yeah, you're seeing what she usually saves for mommy. So we wrestle the squirming, screaming infant into the carseat and she looks up at me and grins. So everything is okay in the world!

I started dinner before taking her to my parents house, and as I am walking out the door feel the need to remind the never-ending stomach, almost 15 year old that would be my step-son if I were married to his father, that there are other people who need to eat dinner so please make sure you leave something for everyone else. When I get home, Sage is in a mood because she's tired and doesn't want to go to sleep ... again! LOL. So, I struggle with her for an hour to get her bottle into her and finally take her upstairs for our evening ritual before she drifts off to sleep. So I venture downstairs to eat the dismal amount of food left from dinner since I hadn't eaten all day and it's gone. The aforementioned never-ending stomach decided that he wanted to eat dinner again and ate my dinner. If we hadn't just had a discussion that morning about selfishness and only thinking of one's self, I may not have been so mind-numbingly pissed off ... but we did ... and I was.

I went to bed pissed off at the world and feeling like I was a horrible person for being mad at the kid for like the tenth time that day. I swear, he pushes my buttons just to push them! I tossed and I turned. I couldn't fall asleep. I finally drifted off around midnight and then Pete comes to bed at 1:30 and I'm instantly awake. He's tossing and turning and says, "can you roll over because you are snoring in my ear" AS I am thinking if he doesn't stop that tossing and turning I'm going to find a way to smother him and say he must have just passed in his sleep ... I swear officer ... no that is NOT a feather in his air passage! So, I kindly and quietly ask how I could be snoring since I haven't been able to fall asleep during his imitation of a fish flopping on the shore routine started upon his climbing into bed. I think I fell asleep around 2:30am and then I hear chattering and cooing from the crib at 3:00am. She's was WIDE awake. And I am SO tired. And crabby.

So, hoping beyond all hopes that I won't be mad when I see the kid this morning ... I yell down for him to wake up and get ready for summer school. I got mad hearing him walk up the stairs. And the whole time I'm thinking "he's a kid, don't let him get to you like this." Didn't help. Especially when it was time to leave and I'm struggling with the purse and the diaper bag and Sage in her carseat and *I* have to open the freakin' door for HIM to walk outside! Gods, I hope all teenagers aren't like this!

So, I get to work and I'm mad that I'm at work. Mad that I have to take my beautiful baby girl to a babysitter and go to work while someone else gets to play with her, and feed her, and change her and possibly see a first that I can never get back. I'm mad because I use so much paper in my printer and I swear a tree a week dies at the hands of my job alone! I'm mad because my boss is an unbelievable prick at times and I want to just dangle his cocky ass from the roof of the building by his tie and tell him to just "please, roll your eyes at me one more time."

So, lunch time rolls around and I'm thinking ... leave the building, go to the bank, take a break. I get to the bank and as I am waiting for what turned out to be the most speedy visit ever, I am getting increasingly annoyed at the ATM right outside of my window. I would like to meet the brilliant jackass that thought it was necessary to waste the time and money to put BRAILLE labels on the ATM in the drive-thru! How many blind people drive? In what state? I'm just asking because I don't want to have to drive there ... or go anywhere near there for any reason, ever.

I am so looking forward to the rest of my day. NOT. I'd like to go pick up Sage and go sit in a park somewhere but I know, without any doubt, that some bird would fly over and shit on me just to prove that I can't escape my mood!

Man ... I sound like a bitch.


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