Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Funny AND Scary

Another girl I work with, Annette, brought her 8 week old baby, Glenn, in yesterday since she is still on maternity leave. She also brought her 3 year old daughter, Chelsea, with her. Chelsea is adorable. Chelsea liked our receptionist and kept hanging out with her. We were standing there and our receptionist was going to show Chelsea how to write her name. She kept asking what her name was and Chelsea kept replying "three." After four or five times, Annette said "no, that's how old you are, tell her your name." Another attempt from the receptionist and Chelsea just stared at her. So ... our all-knowing receptionist devised a way to get around the question and get the answer she sought ... "what does your mommy call you?" she says. HA!

BIG HEADED HUSSY!!! She said it with such innocence and pride. I lost it, Annette turned about twenty shades of red and our receptionist still had no clue how to show Chelsea to spell her name. It was priceless!

It was also scary as hell because I am the first to admit, there are times when I (1) have a potty mouth, (2) forget that I am now a mommy and must keep the potty mouth in check and (3) have quite often called Sage little names that I KNOW are inappropriate but they are just between her and I, so, who cares! Well, it seems I better care. Traitorous hussy was the last little name I called her during the "dada" episode last week.

By the way ... Danielle ... you out there? My sister told me that you are now reading and wanted to know why I am so bitchy. In case she doesn't answer you, I told her to tell you it's "BECAUSE I'M NOT A LESBIAN!!!" Men, girlfriend ... they are evil and they make me this way. Not just men, boys who may not grow into men if they don't stop driving me batshit crazy.

Babies ...

My friend Stu, in England, emailed me a picture of his 19 month old daughter today. Her name is Anastasia. She looks like Stu ... not so much like her mother Yana, from what I can tell. Here's a picture of her. I'm not so worried about the amount of hair Sage has now ... or lack of I should say ... no, nope, not one bit.

Cute, huh?

Also, the other day, I ran into a co-worker in the restroom. Her daughter is almost three and I just happened to blurt out, as I am known to do, "so, when are you giving Jessica a little brother or sister?" Um ... she got a scared look on her face and said "I'll know tomorrow." HA! I did it again. I swear, soon, women that know me will run from me with the fear that I will tell them they are pregnant. Anyway, Mary is due February 24th.

Babies ... everyone is having them. I'm not having anymore, but everyone else seems to be wanting to pop them out. And if they can't, for whatever reason, they are adopting!

New pictures

Not much to say this week. The kids have started back to school and we aren't quite in the swing of things yet. Instead of boring you with school details and such, I'll give you pictures instead.

Sage with her great-grandma and great-grandpa Buddy.

Sage doesn't like sitting in her exersaucer as much as she likes playing under it now. She is constantly bumping her head and getting stuck, but she won't stay out from under it.

Her attempt at fishy lips. It was adorable but I haven't seen her try since Saturday night.

Playing with mommy after her bath last night.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hotel Rwanda

I know. It was out ages ago and I should have watched it before, but I never found the time. I can't honestly say that I am glad that I finally watched it though. I know of the atrocities that happen in the world, I know the suffering that people are forced to go through at the hands of others and I know that there is so much more that everyone can do to help those in need. As I sat watching this movie yesterday, Sage slept. I clung to her little body, with her head nestled under my chin, as if her life depended upon it. I had an irrational fear that the Hutu rebels could somehow reach through the television screen and take her from me, as they had so many children in Rwanda. Or, they could kill me and leave her without a mother to care for her.

I have never understood racial hatred, although I have seen enough of it myself. Not a hatred such as that in the many countries in the world where genocide occurs, but hatred nonetheless. I have never understood hatred founded in religion. Most of all, I have never understood how anyone can justify a hatred enough to condone the mass killing of anyone, let alone children. What is it that makes someone feel so superior over someone that they view them as sub-human and think they have no only the right, but the obligation to irridicate the world of a particular group of people? I wonder what atrocities Sage will have to see in her lifetime. I wonder how many times I will have to do battle with those who try to bring hatred and intolerance into her life.

I can't imagine what it must be like for the mothers in the many "third world" countries who have to watch their children die from malnutrition or childhood illnesses that could easily be cured with modern medical practices. Or to watch your child be raped and mutilated to a point where she may never have children of her own, in an act that is meant to prevent a group of people from perpetuating their kind ... taking from them not only their ability to bear children of their own, but their innocence and trust. Often taking their will to live or their actual lives.

The one thing that is becoming more and more clear to me is the hatred of my country by so many. Not only my country, any country that has the means to help these people and doesn't go and pull them out of the hell they live in. If I were a mother in Rwanda, the Congo, Darfur ... I would ... I don't know. I would likely be living in fear, praying for someone to help, knowing that no one would and try to protect my child the best that I could. Would I hate the ruling powers of the world for not helping me and my people? Or would I be too busy trying to survive to not have time for such hatred?

I guess the only thing I can do as I sit in my air-conditioned home and drive my SUV is always remember that while I don't have the easiest life, I have more than I could ever ask for. Sage has love, she is well-fed and has proper medical care. I do worry about the crazy people out there who do atrocious things to children ... and I worry about the typical things that parents worry about with their children. I don't have to worry about some rebel storming my house in the middle of the night to kill me and rape my baby. However, acknowledging what goes on in other parts of the world just doesn't seem to be enough. There has to be something that I can do from, what now seems to be a pampered existence, something I can do to help. But where do you start? Giving money to a charity seems so useless knowing that most of that money likely goes to "running" that charity and the little that does make to the country it is destined for is often stolen or given to those people that are committing the atrocities you are trying desparately to aid against. There has to be something ...

Friday, August 25, 2006

One of the Little People ...

When did Sage turn into a little person instead of a baby? She seems different in the last couple of days and I can't quite put my finger on it. All of a sudden, she is a little person ... not so much baby. I guess it's the sitting, crawling and standing. The mobility. The constant consumption of food, mostly whatever mommy is eating has to be put into her mouth. She is willing to try anything and loves everything. I'm sure that will change and I'll soon be faced with the picky eating toddler that only wants some bizarre inappropriate food for every meal of the day. I want her to have a wide range of tastes in food, so I'm likely to be cursed with the opposite.

Sage and I are going to visit her great-grandmother today. I'm taking off of work early and will pick up Cody and Kaylie, get Sage's things ready, pick her up from the babysitter and off we go. I may get in the pool with her, but she has a fit if her bath water isn't warm enough so I'm not sure if I will attempt the cool water of a pool ... depends upon how brave I am this afternoon.

And now, the obligatory pictures ... from this morning while we were getting ready to leave.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Completely unrelated to Sage

A friend sent me an email yesterday with the most adorable pictures in it. In the aftermath of last years tsunami, a baby hippopotamus that survived adopted a century-old male tortoise as it's new mommy. Hippo young stay with their mothers until they are around four years old and this baby was very young. The tortoise doesn't seem to mind the attention from Owen, the baby hippo. They do everything together and the hippo is also very defensive of his new "mommy" and will become aggressive with those who approach the tortoise, as if he were protecting his mother. Now, if our world leaders could learn from these two, I might have a safe place to raise my daughter in the future!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

She's Gonna Be Trouble

Look at these pictures. Is it just me or am I in a heap of trouble when she gets older? She always looks like she's up to something ... a devilish little imp just waiting for the right moment to do something that will completely freak mommy out! I mean, I am seriously contemplating LoJacking her little ass as soon as she's walking because I know I'm going to turn around for one second and her curious little butt is going to disappear on my ass!

August 18th (8 months old) ... trying her hardest to get to something I took away from her for the bazillioneth time!

Looking at the big kitchen sheers mommy was using to cut something. She was SO mad when I wouldn't give them to her. This face is reminiscent of the turtle face of the early days. It is currently her favorite facial expression. I think she is trying to figure out how to whistle.

As she was first spied standing in the pack-n-play. She looks as if she's thinking "HA! Nothing can stop me now!"

Her reaction to mommy trying to teach her how to bay at the moon ... afterall, mommy is one of those, omigosh, heathen pagans!

And in her "Princess" hat. She is a little princess. My little princess. She can be a bad ass if she wants ... mommy will love her. Mommy may pull all of her hair out, but she'll love her!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

How Much Can She Fit Into One Day?

Yesterday was fun and exciting for Sage. First, there was her managing to finally pull herself up in the pack-n-play so she could grin and bounce up and down while chanting the baby form of a Gregorian chant. Much to Phyllis' dismay, she adamantly refused to take her morning nap and briefly fell asleep for 40 minutes instead of her usual 2 1/2 hour lunch time nap. When I picked her up in the evening, she spun her little walker around and met me half way across the room with her hands reaching for me as she grinned away.

We pick Cody up to drop him off at football practice and she falls asleep on the way. I'm figuring I am going to be struggling with her an hour from then, trying to no avail to wake her since she hasn't slept much during the day. She wakes when we get home and decides that the 20 minute cat-nap she just took is enough sleep for her! Dinner time and then a diaper change. I figured it was as good a time as any to put her sleeper on for the evening and I only turned away for about 5 seconds. I swear ... that was it. I turn back around and she's on all four, crawling to beat the band and is already halfway across the room, headed for the monopoly board! So much for the commando crawl. I guess she got tired of the baby bootcamp jokes.

Wow, too much excitement for one night. Don't throw everything at mommy all in one shot, she might not be able to handle it. So, she's playing in the exersaucer while I'm finishing up with dinner. She's doing her little monkey chatter that makes no sense other than to her little fairy friends that she talks to by the lights, and she looks right at me and says "Da Da." Shock, surprise, pride, frustration ... all of those and more are what I felt as I belted out "oh, no you didn't." I had been asking "who's the mama," "Sage, can you say mama," "Mamamamamamamamamamama" all damn evening! What the hell is up with DA DA???? "Does DaDa change the diapers? Does DaDa get your bottles and feed you? What does DaDa do? Why DaDa? What about MaMa?" Ugh ... who the hell decided that daddy would be called dada? Who? A man, that's who. As soon as he realized that it was the easiest syllable in baby speak and their all important selves had to be first at everything. DaDa my ass! It's so not right. I'm thinking that I'm DaDa from now on ... let daddy be MaMa when she finally figures that one out. That's my solution.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Can We Say Little Miss Piggy?

This weekend, Sage decided that she isn't so happy about having a bottle shoved into her mouth everytime she is looking to fill her belly. She has become very fond of eating anything she can get into her little mouth. But now I can't get enough formula into her!!! She is starting to loathe the sight of her bottle and refuses to drink more than 4 ounces at a time. She fights with her sippy cup and throws it in frustration, so juice is out because I won't give that to her in a bottle.

She is quite hilarious in her interest in food. I can't sit down to eat anything without her looking up at me like a little bird ... mouth gaping open and making a little uh-uh noise. When she gets a bite, her face lights up and she smacks her little lips together in pleasure.

She has also managed to pull herself into a standing position in her pack-n-play. I don't know how she manages this since I didn't see her actually working on it, but I know she can't reach the top from a seated position. The only thing I can think of, is that she put her hands on the side and shimmied her way up? Had to be. I know she didn't just stand straight up in there and then grab on. She's not that brave about the standing thing yet.

Too fast ... too fast. They grow way too fast!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Greatest Feeling

Yesterday, when I picked Sage up from the babysitter, she was in her walker. Up until now, her movement in the walker has always been pushing with her feet and going backwards. When you hold her hands and try to get her to walk, she walks away from you, because she goes backwards. Well, not anymore!!! I walked in the door yesterday, she threw her arms up in the air with a huge smile ... dug those little tootsies into the floor and came to me! It was one of the greatest feelings possible to have her hold her arms out to me and then come to me. I didn't want to let go of her once I had her in my arms. She gave me one of her baby hugs that let me know she was happy to see me and I just kept squeezing. But I had to let go. I had to put her in the carseat ... and then I had to take her to my mother's house after half an hour so she wouldn't suffer in the heat at Cody's game.

I love my baby girl. Can you tell? She brings so much wonder and joy to the world. How did I get through the days and nights without her? I have no clue.

Football Season has Begun

Officially, it started several weeks ago when Cody started practicing, but last night was their first scrimage. Cody is doing really well this year. With last year being his first year playing, and moving up to the JV squad this year, we thought he would be sitting the bench a lot. He's starting tackle on defense and second team for offense. I had planned on taking some pictures last night, BUT the layout of the field sucks and we spent most of the evening squinting and shielding our eyes because the sun was blinding everyone that was trying to watch.

We had planned to take Sage with us but once I got home, I realized that it was just too hot to drag her out. She does not like getting over heated and having her sit in the direct sun for a couple of hours would have had her in a mood to rival the worst of her bad moods. Everyone was asking about her and demanded that I bring her to the games. Yeah, yeah ... once it cools down. They really don't know what they are asking for asking me to bring her out when it is 90+ degrees. It would just be so ugly.

Everyone is having babies! I ran into an old friend last night and she is due in 6 weeks. She looks like she is ready to pop any day now and is already bigger than I was when I gave birth. I don't know how she's going to get through the next 6 weeks with football practice and games. I know the heat at the games last year made me want to crawl into the closest deep freezer I could find! Of course, Stacy is due on Christmas and one of the football moms told me last night that she is pregnant and due in February. I don't know if it should be considered an epidemic now or not, but everyone is having babies. Except me ... I've got mine, quite happy with her and I will likely smile wanly while killing the bastard who thinks my getting pregnant again would be a good idea. Nope, not happening, no way, no how. If I want another, I will adopt.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


My adorable little monkey has become quite the independent little cherub lately. She turns her toys on by herself, she wants to try to feed herself with her spoon, and she is becoming way too mobile for mommy's liking lately. I love her independence, knowing that she is thinking for herself and wanting to make decisions. I do not like the tantrums that come with my not allowing her to make certain decisions. Decisions like look at that shiny penny, I'm going to pick it up and put it in my mouth ... Those decisions aren't allowed. And when mommy takes said penny, or anything else for that matter, away from her ... she throws the biggest of tantrums for such a tiny little body.

I used to be able to trade her things for what she had and she would be okay with my taking something from her. I think she caught on. If I try to trade now, she takes what I am giving and then stubbornly refuses to give me either item she has! If I introduce a third, she hugs it to her chest between the first two items. She will not free a hand for an additional item. She knows what I'm trying to do!

So, life is getting very interesting when it comes to dealing with the little person. She learns something new every day, and in her process of learning, I learn as well.

I've got the commando crawl down mom ... I'm coming to get you!

I know I'm adorable. Everyone loves me.

Like my new face. I'll get this whistling thing down sooner or later!

The absolute quickest way to give Mommy a heart attack nowadays!

Mommy likes it a lot better when I'm like this ...

Monday, August 14, 2006

I Need a Life Outside of My House

Just like every other weekend it seems, this weekend wasn't much of anything. Kaylie had her little birthday party on Friday night with one minor change ... it was decided sometime during the day on Friday, between Pete and his mother, that the party would be at her house so the kids could enjoy the pool. Well, we all know how thrilled I am at the prospect of having to even contemplate pretending to be civil to the woman, much less actually doing so; so after my worrying over what to get Kaylie and my frantic shopping on Friday, everyone celebrated my efforts without me. Ah well, I think she had a good time and since it was her birthday, that is all that matters. The effort that was made to change the plans I had made, in the frenzied secretive way that they were, does irritate me quite a bit. But, that's a day in the life of having to deal with the know-it-all, holier than thou
poison that my dear partner calls a mother!

The rest of the weekend was as uneventful as any other. I really need to find some kind of hobby that requires me to leave the house! Having Sage and the camera, in the house, really makes it unnecessary for me to venture anywhere beyond the confines of my home. Other than a brief jaunt to the store or to my parents house, I really don't go anywhere. That needs to change. I am starting to feel like a hermit. Especially when, as so happened yesterday, Sage spends most of the day with my parents. No Sage means no picture taking, which means that I must find something else to do and for the life of me, I can't! My world now revolves around her, her needs and her schedule; and I am so utterly lost for things to do when she is not around.

She wore a new dress yesterday, so when she did return home, ALMOST AN HOUR LATE, I had to take some pictures. I barely got to spend any time with her though since not long after the pictures were taken she decided that she was completely exhausted, had a bottle and promptly fell asleep. She did wake up for about half an hour but by 9:30pm she was out again.

The shots here are ones that I took of her last night. I may have gone overboard, because I think I took about 70 pictures of her! That's not hard to do though. It only took 5 minutes.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Happy Birthday Kaylie!

Kaylie is seven years old today. Seven going on thirty. I can't blame her for thinking and acting so much older than she is. I blame it on those adults that were allowed to corrupt her in her most impressionable years. Those individuals who have inadvertently made it so hard to get her to understand that she IS ... A ... CHILD! She looks so innocent with her big, baby blues and tossled blonde hair. She is so not what you would expect a seven year old to be. At least, not what I would have ever expected a seven year old to be. She is the child who is always trying to jump into every non-appropriate adult conversation that you are having ... as she sneaks around the corner. And if you inform her that the conversation is not for her to listen to and send her off to play, as soon as said conversation is over, she comes back and demands to be filled in on the topic of discussion. She is USED to this. She expects to be allowed in these conversations because she has been in the past. HOW DO YOU GET PAST THAT??? Nothing is working. After over a year, nothing has worked! I give up. If she wants to talk about tampons next time it comes up, I'll just ask her opinion. And NOT be surprised by answer I get because she will probably know WAY more than she should about tampons.

Still. I don't know what else to get her for her birthday and I am just going to have to take her shopping tomorrow. Maybe we'll have a girls day out. Kaylie, Sage and I. Or maybe I will ask my mother if she wants to watch Sage and it will be just Kaylie and I. I don't have my shopping cart seat insert thinga-ma-bob that I want for Sage to protect her from all of those grimey shopping cart germs yet ... and it is hard as hell to get that thing clean with those wipes I have, while wrestling the squirmy love of my life with one arm and a hip!

I'm still open for any suggestions ... but the few of you who read this are running out time. Help me ... I hate shopping!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Better Day

I am having a better day today, for the most part. I did not wake up a raging bitch this morning. Yay, me! And Sage didn't fight with me when I put her in the carseat. Yay, me again! However, she is starting to get into that clingy, don't take me from my mommy thing that breaks my heart everytime someone prys her chubby little hands from my shirt.

Kaylie's birthday is tomorrow ... the BIG 7! Woo-hoo ... she acts like she's turning 30! So, what in the hell do you buy for a 7 year old that acts way too big for her brithces? Hmmmm ... please tell me because I haven't got a clue and I am now down to hours before the birthday party instead of days or weeks. She won't tell us what she wants either. I did pick her up a cool pair of pajamas because she is anal about pj's ... gotta have them!

My mother is out of town and probably fuming at me for not posting any pictures last night so that she could look at her precious. I didn't have time Mom! Sorry. I was too busy being a bitch and cooking dinner. Probably won't have time to do it tonight either, but she'll be on a plane later and won't be able to look anyway. Unless she has some wireless internet laptop connection that I have been kept in the dark about. She's with her boss ... so very possible.

Basically, I'm only mildly annoyed with everything today. Major downgrade from the mammoth iceburg attitude I had yesterday ... today it's like an ice-cube size attitude in comparison. Still there though. It's like PMS ... but I don't get PMS. Well, I didn't get PMS. Until I got pregnant. Then I had a good long 40 weeks and 2 days of non-stop PMS! So maybe it's one of my new life enriching hormone induced traits ... since having a baby, maybe I do get PMS. Kind of like since having a baby, my baby-fine, straight as a board hair has decided to get all nappified on my ass. I swear, I've got these half-kinked stray pieces that are going everywhere and if I don't keep them under some semblence of control, I look like I have crazy lady hair. I don't know what's up with it but it has made me contemplate, on several occasions, shaving my head and buying a pretty wig! At the very least, I need to DYE my hair so it is one color and not multi-tonal with the fading red, mouse brown and stray white hairs that want to pop up out of nowhere every other day. Maybe this weekend ... if I can manage to get the dye AND if my sister has time to come over and do it. Maybe. Not likely. That would be taking time for myself and that doesn't happen often.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Not a Good Day

... and for no particular reason. I'm pissy with the world. It's actually quite gorgeous out. It's in the 80's and no typical oppressive Mid-Atlantic humidity in the air. Even saying Mid-Atlantic irritates me today. The ENTIRE Mid-Atlantic region is made up of MARYLAND!!! Hello? I guess it's the polite way of saying we are the combination black sheep/red-headed step-child of the East coast! Those to the north say we are in the south, those to the south say we are in the north. Well, I've got news for everyone, we are BELOW the Mason Dixon Line, hence in the SOUTH.

See ... pissy mood. And that just touches on the big, goliath iceburg of a 'tude that I have today. I think it's because I went to bed in a bad mood last night, and it just festered. I took Sage down to see Mom and Dad yesterday evening because Mom was leaving for Oklahoma City this morning and wanted to see Sage. Of course she did ... who wouldn't want to see my cuddly, lovable, deliriously happy baby that turned into a she-devil yesterday on me! When I picked her up at the baby-sitter and went to put her in the carseat she did the stiff-as-a-board, back arched, head thrown back tantrum that she usually saves for mommy when she's tired and she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that when I stick that bottle in her mouth she is going to fall asleep when she does NOT want to. I couldn't get her in the carseat. So, there is Phyllis peaking around the corner, looking at me and wondering if I pinched her little pumpkin or something. She says "Sage?" with this look of disbelief in her eyes. HA. Yeah, you're seeing what she usually saves for mommy. So we wrestle the squirming, screaming infant into the carseat and she looks up at me and grins. So everything is okay in the world!

I started dinner before taking her to my parents house, and as I am walking out the door feel the need to remind the never-ending stomach, almost 15 year old that would be my step-son if I were married to his father, that there are other people who need to eat dinner so please make sure you leave something for everyone else. When I get home, Sage is in a mood because she's tired and doesn't want to go to sleep ... again! LOL. So, I struggle with her for an hour to get her bottle into her and finally take her upstairs for our evening ritual before she drifts off to sleep. So I venture downstairs to eat the dismal amount of food left from dinner since I hadn't eaten all day and it's gone. The aforementioned never-ending stomach decided that he wanted to eat dinner again and ate my dinner. If we hadn't just had a discussion that morning about selfishness and only thinking of one's self, I may not have been so mind-numbingly pissed off ... but we did ... and I was.

I went to bed pissed off at the world and feeling like I was a horrible person for being mad at the kid for like the tenth time that day. I swear, he pushes my buttons just to push them! I tossed and I turned. I couldn't fall asleep. I finally drifted off around midnight and then Pete comes to bed at 1:30 and I'm instantly awake. He's tossing and turning and says, "can you roll over because you are snoring in my ear" AS I am thinking if he doesn't stop that tossing and turning I'm going to find a way to smother him and say he must have just passed in his sleep ... I swear officer ... no that is NOT a feather in his air passage! So, I kindly and quietly ask how I could be snoring since I haven't been able to fall asleep during his imitation of a fish flopping on the shore routine started upon his climbing into bed. I think I fell asleep around 2:30am and then I hear chattering and cooing from the crib at 3:00am. She's was WIDE awake. And I am SO tired. And crabby.

So, hoping beyond all hopes that I won't be mad when I see the kid this morning ... I yell down for him to wake up and get ready for summer school. I got mad hearing him walk up the stairs. And the whole time I'm thinking "he's a kid, don't let him get to you like this." Didn't help. Especially when it was time to leave and I'm struggling with the purse and the diaper bag and Sage in her carseat and *I* have to open the freakin' door for HIM to walk outside! Gods, I hope all teenagers aren't like this!

So, I get to work and I'm mad that I'm at work. Mad that I have to take my beautiful baby girl to a babysitter and go to work while someone else gets to play with her, and feed her, and change her and possibly see a first that I can never get back. I'm mad because I use so much paper in my printer and I swear a tree a week dies at the hands of my job alone! I'm mad because my boss is an unbelievable prick at times and I want to just dangle his cocky ass from the roof of the building by his tie and tell him to just "please, roll your eyes at me one more time."

So, lunch time rolls around and I'm thinking ... leave the building, go to the bank, take a break. I get to the bank and as I am waiting for what turned out to be the most speedy visit ever, I am getting increasingly annoyed at the ATM right outside of my window. I would like to meet the brilliant jackass that thought it was necessary to waste the time and money to put BRAILLE labels on the ATM in the drive-thru! How many blind people drive? In what state? I'm just asking because I don't want to have to drive there ... or go anywhere near there for any reason, ever.

I am so looking forward to the rest of my day. NOT. I'd like to go pick up Sage and go sit in a park somewhere but I know, without any doubt, that some bird would fly over and shit on me just to prove that I can't escape my mood!

Man ... I sound like a bitch.

Monday, August 07, 2006


Well, I knew it was coming sooner or later, but I was kind of hoping for later! While Sage is still trying to master that whole crawling thing, she has managed to master standing up by herself in her crib. Not so bad if her father had lowered the mattress yet ... I mean, I only asked him about 50 times to do it! So, we are home by ourselves yesterday evening and I'm getting the bathtub ready for her. I seemed to know it was going to happen although she hadn't really given any signs of doing so yet other than half-hearted attempts in her pack-n-play to try to pull herself to a sitting position. I was going into the bathroom to turn the tub off and had placed her in the crib ... mommy will be right back ... don't you stand up. HA! Why did I say that? I was gone for like five whole seconds ... walk back into the bedroom and there's the little monkey, standing up with both hands gripping the railing, bouncing like Tigger and grinning from ear to ear. She was SO proud of herself. And I was proud of her as well ... after my heart removed itself from my throat and I could breathe again. I thought she was going to tumble over that rail in the two seconds it took me to get from the door to the crib.

Along with her newfound standing status she has re-discovered blowing raspberries. I think it's because she needed to find something to do with all of the excessive drool and what better way to get rid of it then to spray mommy in the face with baby spittle and laugh like a little monkey when I exaggerate the Ewwwwwwwwww and wipe it from my face. It's that deep down belly laugh that she usually saves for our ah-boo sessions (our version of peek-a-boo) at night before she goes to sleep. And then she claps herself to sleep. I kid you not, we have thankfully said good-bye and good-riddance to the once adorable head rocking that constantly broke off her hair on the back of her head and left a little bald spot. She now has discovered the joy of actually opening her hands and clapping the chubby little paws together to make noise. She claps three or four times, stops and looks at you to wait for acknowledgment. Once duly received, she starts over again with a little giggle. Her clapping is usually a sign that she is going to be asleep within about five minutes. She's growing so fast and learning something new every day. I keep telling her "slow down baby girl, slow down!"

Pretty soon she'll be crawling and walking and talking ... INDEPENDENCE ... then before you know it, going to school, dating, driving, getting married! Can't I keep her a little, tiny person and take care of her forever? Is that really too much to ask?

Thursday, August 03, 2006


I have always had a passion for photography but never really pursued my interest until I got my digital camera a couple of years ago. The expense of developing the pictures that I wasn't constantly taken overrode my passion and having all of the media digital made things so much easier and cost effective. I decided that I wanted to pursue things further and enrolled in a photography course at the beginning of the year. I had loved photographing animals prior to Sage's birth and had thought of a career in equine photography. I had taken some amazing shots of my Arabian, Othello, and had several people ask who I had hired to take his photo. Once I became pregnant and searched everything regarding pregnancy on the internet I fell in love with maternity portraiture. I had never seen anything like it and loved the thought of capturing a woman in the final stages of pregnancy, showing the beauty of it all at a stage in my life when I wasn't feeling the most attractive! Then Sage was born and it just so happens, so was my muse. Capturing her on film and having a way to look back on the precious things she has done made me want to give that gift to others as well.

From that point on, my desire has been to complete my photography course and try to start my own business as a photographer specializing in maternity and infant/child photography. So, if you know anyone who wants pictures of their children or maternity portraits, please let me know! I want my own studio in the future but my true desire is to take photos in a natural setting to capture the true essence of a baby/child in her/his own environment. And to be honest, studio portrait work for maternity portraiture turns me off. The photos I fell in love with were all done outside, either on the beach or in wooded areas. Pregnancy is such a natural state for a woman, and to try to show the true essence of such a thing in the confines of a studio just doesn't seem right.

I do plan on doing photos for a couple of friends, and I will be sure to have them posted somewhere for people to look at if they are interested. I also wanted to share a picture that I took of Kaylie about a year ago. It was what made me really fall in love with photographing outdoors.